Rating: ©©©©-1/4 chips (lip-smacking)
Oh Doritos! Why?! Why must everything new always be JACKED!? Let’s just quit JACKING everything up and around!! Doritos original 3D were a great snack from the 90’s, that we enjoyed many a time. Light as air, a soft crisp, with a very thin shell, and hollow in the middle. The 3Ds were much too easy to pop one by one, over and over, until the bottom of that bag appeared. They were unlike any other snack-chip available on the market, and well, it appears as though Doritos is going for it again!! Just look at that glowing Triforce shaped medallion chip to the left!
Editor note, or confession: We here at Chip Review have never been the hugest fans of the JACKED line from Doritos. They are (in most cases) – BIGGER – BOLDER & THICKER (in the case of these 3D, we can’t verify for certain that they are indeed ‘bigger’ than the originals, nor ‘bolder’ actually…). Our predominant issue with the JACKED Doritos lies in the tortilla chips themselves. While the 3D style may not even be considered chips technically, they are once again a variation of the original 3Ds style, and they are much thicker. The chips just seem too big, and their texture is so thick that they no longer encompass the same light and crispy Doritos 3D texture. In this case they have also completely changed their shape and structure. We just do not know what to think here!!
Once again, the big boys have beat us to the review on this one. Nothing like a new product from Doritos to warrant a visit to Walmart for everyone! Most reviews are consistently mixed for these, but the one thing everyone seems to be talking about most, is the peculiar shape of the 3Ds! The Impulsive Buy described the 3Ds as “…an ancient Egyptian hieroglyphic or an Illuminati symbol, there’s an element of both metaphysical mystery and advanced technology suggested by the pyramidal shape of the new Doritos Jacked 3D Jalapeño Pepper Jack chips.” While Junk Food Guy jokingly asks “Are these some ancient currency, used to buy things from an Mayan vending machine?” Plain and simple, these are some uniquely weird shaped chips no matter how any of us describe them! Doritos has wowed us again, and created something new and original.
While technically speaking every Dorito that we have ever tasted up until this point have also been of the three dimensional style (to be honest that’s really the way we like all of our chips!), these 3Ds do provide even more dimension than any of the traditional Doritos, or Doritos JACKED lines! For a second here let’s focus on what the heck these structures are… Well, this is 2015, and apparently, no longer will a thin-shelled, puffed, three dimensional Dorito from the past do the necessary snack trick. Instead, Doritos top engineers have obliterated whatever drawing board they may have ever used, and veered towards ingenious structural JACKED creativity!! These chips are cool! These chips are originals!! These chips are, not really even chips any longer!!! The 3Ds are much more like Fritos corn chips in both flavor (corn-ful), and texture (dense crunch). Albeit, corn chips that have been stacked and fused together to form a crunchy corn triangular pendant. Do we love the shape? Not really, but our mouths apparently do! Because no matter how hard we tried, we could not stop ourselves from devouring them, one after one, until there were no more!
As for the Jalapeño Pepper Jack seasoning, we actually enjoyed it more than the chips themselves. As other reviews have already pointed out, the initial flavors actually trigger thoughts of Cool Ranch seasoning. A smooth and creamy cheese powder, with some salty, onion and garlic notes. An aromatic vegetal presence appears subtly in the background from the addition of jalapeno; delivering our daily dose of vegetables, and at the same time a moderate level of heat. The flavor is balanced, and tasty, but certainly not JACKED! We wish that we couldn’t even see the golden corn hue of the 3D chips from beneath the amply applied seasoning layer! The seasoning works very well with the corn chips!
Before we leave, can we just mention how heavy this bag is?! Despite being much smaller in size than a typical large 11 ounce bag of Doritos, the electric lime JACKED 3Ds bag was packed to the brim with the dense and heavy chips! No one should be complaining about not getting their money’s worth on these ones!
Well, there you have it. Anyone else out there tried them yet? Thoughts? As always we would love to hear what you think. Agree or disagree. Let us know.
Chips discovered at Walmart; Countryside, Illinois
Chip Ratings Scale:
© – return to sender
©© – tolerable
©©© – notable
©©©© – lip-smacking
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